It Hurts
by AngelClara
Summary: Chloe has a dark secret, a visit to a grave and some realisations. (Not a happy C/C Sorry I'm digging the angst at the mo.)


It Hurts -By Angel*Clara  
  
Dear Clark  
  
I watched. My heart breaking. Who knew that getting over me would be so easy? I never thought she'd be the one sitting there with you. I never did. Maybe in the later days but I always thought she'd be too wrapped up in Whitney to ever notice you. I had all the time in the world to make my move until he left. Lana's just not the kinda gal that can stand being alone.  
  
Hmmmmmmmmm... There you were last night sitting close to her by candlelight  
  
I watched and I cried. It hurt so bad. I don't know what to do.I can cry. But that won't help. And I can't admit defeat. Thinking that though it makes me wonder....did I ever own you with anything other than default?  
  
I couldn't let you see my crying eyes but I wanted so bad to run to you How could you find someone in just so little time  
  
I wanted to run to him as soon as I saw it. I wanted him to soothe all my hurt. Because what I saw that night. Well....I just can't believe that he told Lana before he told me. I never thought he'd find a new best friend and girlfriend so fast.  
  
We said we'd be friends maybe one day give us one more try I can't understand, it happened so fast Six months have passed Now suddenly you've gotten over me  
  
It was so sudden it made me what gods I'd angered that made them wanna kick my karma and make me suffer.  
  
It hurts when I thought I had gotten over you It hurts when together forever won't come true  
  
I've been told by tons of guys that I was their forever. Each and everyone was just using me. Sean,Justin,Clark and even Pete have used me for some means. I'm just Chloe. And it hurts because I'll always be overlooked and put into the catagory marked insignificant. My life sucks.  
  
It hurts when one broken heart is how it ends'cause it hurts to know that you are in love again  
  
I never really took the "threat" of Lana seriously. She was always so sickly sweet. She was like an acid lolipop. Seemed so sugary and sweet but when you get to the middle, to the core.....the acid burns your tongue out.  
  
I'm trying so hard not to care but you're happy now and it's not fair  
  
I've always wanted you to be happy. Sure I'm a critic and a cynic but I always believed that oneday I'd find my happy ended. I thought you were my happy ending. But I probably won't find peace and happiness till I'm six feet under having a little private party with worms. I've been buried alive in a coffin before. You saved me. Before you came, I was so scared, I couldn't breath. I was choking on fear and carbon dioxide. I was afraid then. But now I don't fear death. As someone great once said: Death in the eye of the beholder is a scary thing to those who have many more things to live for.  
  
Just when I thought that I was getting strong I see you with her I was wrong Now I can pretend that losing you didn't mean a thing  
  
I tried so hard to have composure. I tried to be strong. You never told me the secret you told Lana and I'll never tell you I already knew. Its better you forget. Then you won't come to me and I won't have to remember......that losing you shattered my soul. I want to be strong. I don't like being the one who breaks. I always told everyone I was made of stronger things than glass.  
  
And I can deny that this whole thing's not happening To hold it inside.it's killing me, it's hurting me. If you could only see  
  
I don't think I ever told you that I'm dying. I didn't did I? Well I am. Thats right. Tough Chloe's dying. I have cancer and I'm only expected to live for one more month. I started coughing up blood the day you broke up with me. It was like a warning of what was coming. I was coming to tell you. But then the worlds I've always feared slipped from your mouth and I lost my courage. I lost my capacity to love. You'll never see me. I used to think you did a long time ago but....nevermind whats done is done. Soon I'll leave this world and it will all be done.  
  
It hurts when I thought I had gotten over youIt hurts when together forever won't come true It hurts when one broken heart is how it ends'cause it hurts to know that you are in love again  
  
If you ever get this letter. Which you probably won't. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm just a person on a chain, of many. I'm only one person and I never mattered anyway. I just want to say Goodbye. Goodbye Pete. Goodbye Dad. Goodbye Smallville. Goodbye Meteors. Goodbye Clark....my superman.  
  
La-la-la-la....Ohh...It hurts when ooooohhhhhhh.. It hurts when I see you, I see you with her It hurts when my broken heart is how it ends'cause it hurts to know that you are in love again  
  
So I bid you farwell. Adeiu, Sayanora. See ya.  
  
You'll never know I even had cancer. I'll just fade before your eyes and you'll never know. I'll make up flimsy excuses and you'll believe me because thats whats best. No treatments for me. No prolonging of my life. This isn't all happy, joy and sunshine. But I'm aloud one moment of depression. I hope that the task of being your "Golden girl" falls on more worthy shoulders than mine when I go. So again I bid you farewell. May you remember me only in nightmares ard may the remaining of your life be merry.  
  
I love you all. Chloe ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nobody knew that she was dying. Clark stood over the grave in black funeral wear. He ran a trembling finger over the name. She had known about his powers even though he did not tell her. She supported him when they broke up. Lately she had been pale and tired. She had just said it was the flu. Clark wiped his eyes angrily. He was supposed to notice things about her. He was supposed to be there. But he hadn't been. She'd been dying that whole time. The whole time he'd ignored her and she hadn't said a word. Not a complaint about the pain she'd been in. Gabe Sullivan fingered the envelope in his pocket. It had the last words from his daughter. Those words were precious to him but he knew what he was doing was right. He watched the young man standing over his daughter's grave and knew it was time. It was time for the letter to be read. It was time for each truth to be known. "Clark" he whispered his voice taunt with emotion. Clark whirled around and saw Mr Sullivan. "Mr Sullivan" he said. Gabe noted the red streaks that ran down the young boy's face. He'd been grieving. "I have something for you" Clark looked at him a questioning look fluttering over his posture and features. Gabe pulled the yellow tear stained envelope from his pocket. It was yellow with age and its corners creased from continus reading. Whenever Gabe was sad or felt so horrible he wanted to break down. It was time for someone else to have this. These last precious words. Wisdom passed from the dead. Clark fingered the envelope catiously. In one swift movement he drew out the letter and began to read.  
  
The words circled around his brain and he choked. Tears fell from his eyes. She had felt like that. And the day he had broken up with her she was coming to him for support. He felt anger rise within him. He was so angry at himself. He punched a tree, it was a poor innocent bystander but clark could not bring himself to care. Her words rang out loud and clear. He knew that he could never escape them. Those words that he would forever remember. What had she called him? Superman. That was it. Maybe he could do that for her. Maybe he could save people. Just for Chloe. It would have been what she wanted. She'd been so alive. Now he could only return the favour, and help people live. Maybe one day he would find someone like Chloe. Someone just as expressive and intelligent. Someone........... Just someone who could stop all his hurt..  
  
Because it hurts.........................  
  
The End.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer: You guys know the drill. 


End file.
